Right from an early age our children experience anger. It is vital to allow them to go through the motions and explore this way of feeling. Although it can often get us big people feeling the same too!
One important thing to know is you're not doing anything wrong that your child is displaying frustration and anger, it is perfectly normal. In fact, it is more common for our children to go through this emotion because it is the fastest way for them to regulate until they have learned how to do so in an alternative more 'acceptable' manner.
When their little brains get over stimulated, their go to reaction is to scream, cry and even throw things. This is simply because their emotional regulation centre is still very much learning and the quickest way for them to restore calm is to demonstrate these behaviours.
How Can Worley and George Help?
Poor Worley gets himself in some tricky situations that he just doesn't know how to deal with. Luckily for him, his monster mates are always on hand to teach him to recognise, understand and manage his emotions. When Worley experiences this hot bubbling feeling in his tum, George is the perfect mate to teach him just what to do!
Not only are we all unique in terms of our personalities but we're also one of a kind when it comes to our emotions too. Don't get me wrong we will have similarities but really getting to know your child's triggers and their ways of displaying feelings can assist them to return to a much happier state more quickly. I've defo started to learn Luna's and sometimes I find myself preparing for the strop before it even starts! Not to mention the throwing herself on her bum and crossing her arms... funny little monsters we're raising! But it is one of those things that sometimes we must laugh so we don't cry!
Anyways, so our littles, what do they do when they're angry... they stamp, throw things, cry, scream, grit their teeth but they will also feel some sensations within their bodies too. Knots in their tummies, sweating or feeling hot.
Why do our children get angry?
I put this question over to you guys across my social media as I was really intrigued to see your responses, was great to get your feedback! Which goes to show even more how unique our children are as there were so many answers!
- Being told 'No'
- Not being able to figure something out
- Seeing something in their minds of how they wanted it to work but being frustrated when they couldn't achieve it
- Having to wait
- Feeling like they're not being listened to
- Being overstimulated
- Feeling hungry
- Being helped when they want to do something independently
I bet the list could go on! When the anger kicks in, try and remember to name the emotion for your child to help develop their regulation centre. Say to them things like 'I can see you're angry because I said no, how about 'A' or 'B'? Join their activity that they're struggling with and show them that you get it wrong too, react in a calmer way and this can model a more appropriate response.
A lot of the time, it is best to acknowledge how they are feeling, let them know you understand why they feel angry, then let the frustration ride out. Then comes the power of using stories to tap into our children's subconscious brain and plant wee seeds of valuable messages.
How can we support our children and teach them self-regulation tools?
As well as being able to recognise their emotions, our children need to understand them too. That's what I love about the 'When Worley' book series. It teaches your child through rhyme what their emotions are.
When Worley Gets Angry! has a great poem explaining to children that our brains are in two parts. We have a logical and rational brain, then on the other side we have the crazy brain that can sometimes go a bit ballistic when we get angry!
Illustration from When Worley Gets Angry!
Worley's World and how my monsters can support your families
Not only are my books fabulous resources to help bring up those difficult conversations with our children, they're also a great way to kick start role play scenarios. Role playing is one of my all-time go to activities when I'm supporting children with their emotions because it removes the feeling of overwhelm as we're not putting 'their' emotions at the centre of the conversation. The spotlight is taken away from them and put onto the characters. By doing this we help our children to figure out how to overcome challenging situations by acting out things that have happened to them. We use similar stories which they can relate to and through conversations with the characters your children come up with the solutions. The beauty of this being subconsciously seeds are being planted so that in the future, everything they have suggested to the characters becomes the choices they make.
When Luna was struggling with the 'terrible 'two's' as it is often referred to, not wanting to share, being heavy handed, snatching, screaming you name it and because of her age she wasn’t emotionally ready for me to sit her down and tell her why her actions were wrong. So what we did, which is great because she absolutely loves it, is role play! Her toys haven't been very kind to each other, and we act out how they are going to make things better. She's started apologising, showing signs of empathy. We've even had her toys needing to learn how to tidy up! I tell ya, that's one of the most challenging things as I often get told 'Mummy, you do it!' I do have to laugh but luckily with the help of her toys she is beginning to be more helpful and more caring towards others! The refreshing thing when we were out and about at toddler groups is Mum's reassuring me I'm not the only one haha!
Alongside books, role play, storytelling there are also other ways to support our children. As you know I love my creative brain and couples with my knowledge of kids emotions, it often works wonders when creating fabulous resources for you as parents at home. Like my online membership area filled with engaging activities you can do at home.
Practicing gratitude and mindfulness with our children daily is an awesome tool which can reduce anger outbursts, minimizes their severity and also shorten the time they last. It teaches our brains to search for the positives and seek those feelings which make us feel happy and calm. Spending time outdoors is particular effective for children who get overstimulated or have ADHD. The natural world, being in fresh air does wonders for regulating our emotions, Nature Monsters is a super course filled with fun activities you and your littles can enjoy whilst exploring outside spaces.
Bring Worley to your home
Sometimes knowing where to start is one of the trickiest parts of decision making, so to make it easier for you, with my knowledge in how children learn as well as an extensive amount of therapeutic techniques under my belt (my superhero belt!), I have built an online area where you can access a variety of activities that encourage our children to think about their emotions through play. Allowing them to begin to recognise them, understand them and learn strategies which help manage them. Within the Monster Level of my online membership area you can find the 'Nature Monsters' course- download it and use it over and over!
If there is anything in particular you and your child are struggling with I'm always here to support - feel free to drop me a message - Jodi.worleysworld@gmail.com
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